Unraveling the Complexity of Managing Overwhelm
One of the most common issues I hear from leaders that I speak with, is the overwhelm they feel in trying to deal with multiple issues at work and at home. It is too much. The head space is not available, and they end up spinning as they battle with actions, decisions and where to focus effort next. But it is not always clear how this can be addressed or why it is so hard to overcome.
In this newsletter, I have been reflecting on the contributing factors to feelings of ‘overwhelm’ and what the root causes may be.
When I first discuss these challenges with clients, frequently, the volume of work is excessive, but the tasks are manageable. A cycle then builds of frustration from undertaking the same things repeatedly, leading to procrastination from disinterest in the task, and then work building up.
Conversely for some, the tasks may be difficult to do, so they put them off and fill their time with other, less challenging items, so the overwhelm builds differently as the big jobs do not go away.
Whatever the reason, it can be exhausting and lead to anxiety from both the pressure to deliver work and to be available for out of work commitments.
Through my discussions with clients, what becomes clearly evident, is that often this is not a new issue for the individual. They have usually tried lots of different approaches in the past such as time management tools, calendar scheduling and planners. They may have been partially successful but the overwhelm has not reduced. Something else is preventing the individuals from tackling the issue fully.
I have observed that these frequently come down to a few common themes:
Perfectionism – wanting to do everything themselves and ensuring it is perfect, ensures they always have a high unattainable workload. Demonstrating how ‘great’ their work is and how valuable they are to the organization. Trying to do less than ‘perfect’ work is unthinkable and so they continue with the excessive workload.
Self worth – (often connected to perfectionism) having so much work to do reinforces their importance in their role and organization so there is no incentive to reduce it.
Control – wanting to oversee everything and be in the weeds, (where it is familiar) when they should be taking a helicopter view and moderate their input to match. *Frequently this shows up with individuals that have moved into a more senior leadership role.
Not wanting to ask for help – they are not used to requesting support, as they may perceive it as ‘failing;’ handing off tasks onto valued colleagues or being perceived as ‘special’ ahead of others by needing support, is uncomfortable for them.
So, what can you do about it?
The first step in dealing with the overwhelm is understanding the underlying issue before you attempt to tackle the ‘outcome’ of overwhelm. Once you are able to see the likely cause, then it is time to put actions in place…..some suggestions on how to do this are below.
Practicing delegation can help to reduce the need for control. Start small, if this sounds terrifying to you! Evaluate what can be handed over (low risk) and test out your team member’s ability to undertake the work. Note how this process evolves. What worked well? what could be better next time?
Practice asking for help from those around you. Often we don’t take full advantage of assistants, colleagues and peers. Who could add value to your work (creating a better product/outcome) and help reduce the burden on you?
Grow self worth in other areas of your life (so work becomes a less important element.) - you can do this through developing other interests, hobbies, volunteering your time and formal education.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. Reframe negative self talk and focus on positives and what you have already accomplished. Stick to ‘facts’ rather than the ‘stories’ you might be telling yourself.
Final Thoughts
It can be tempting to look around and blame others for our feelings of overwhelm (our boss, organization, team, family.)
Once we acknowledge the issue as our own, we can then recognize how we're likely undermining our own efforts to alleviate the overwhelm.
With this awareness comes the understanding that altering the current state of affairs will demand deliberate effort, disciplined practice, and patience to prioritize long-term change in our approach.
And all of this starts with the right mindset, supporters and guides by our sides….
ps. When you’re ready…..I help leaders and teams through 1:1 coaching, training, facilitation and operations guidance. Reach out for a complimentary intro call